The Power of Friendship: Helping Kids Navigate Social Challenges

Friendship is one of the most vital aspects of childhood, influencing how children connect, communicate, and navigate social situations. However, building and maintaining friendships can be challenging—many children experience loneliness, exclusion, or conflict with their peers. This struggle lies at the heart of Pink Shirt Day. Each year, on the last Wednesday of February, children across Canada and beyond wear pink to take a stand against bullying. Pink Shirt Day began in 2007 when two high school students, David Shepherd and Travis Price, witnessed a younger boy being bullied for wearing a pink shirt. In response, they purchased dozens of pink shirts and distributed them to classmates, sending a powerful message of solidarity and kindness. What started as a simple act of support has since grown into a global movement, with Pink Shirt Day now recognized worldwide as a reminder of the power of kindness, inclusion, and standing up for one another.

Building Friendship

Parents play a crucial role in fostering their children’s social success. Open conversations about kindness, respect, and inclusion lay the foundation for positive interactions. Encouraging children to express their feelings, recognize others’ emotions, and practice empathy helps them build meaningful connections. But beyond words, children also need to learn the actions that make a good friend.

For years, I have guided families in teaching key friendship skills, with a central focus on the “Number One Friendship Rule”: To have good friends, you must first be a good friend. This means being self-aware and considering others’ feelings, not just your own. True friendship is built on listening attentively, taking turns, sharing, and resolving conflicts respectfully. Rather than merely memorizing social rules, children benefit from reflecting on what it truly means to be a good friend and how they can cultivate lasting relationships.

Encourage Inclusivity

To help children become more inclusive and learn to appreciate differences, it’s essential to foster empathy and teach the value of diversity from a young age. Encourage conversations about various cultures, abilities, and backgrounds, emphasizing the uniqueness of each individual. Model respectful behavior by showing kindness to people from all walks of life, reinforcing the idea that differences are something to celebrate, not fear. Teach children safe and effective ways to stand up to bullying, such as using their voice to speak out against unfair treatment or seeking help from a trusted adult when needed. Let them know it’s okay to ask for support if they witness bullying, and empower them to be allies by offering friendship and assistance to those who may feel isolated. By creating a supportive and understanding environment, children can grow up to be compassionate, confident, and proactive in fostering inclusive spaces for everyone.

One of the most valuable lessons we can teach children is how to break the cycle of gossip and negativity. I often use the image of falling dominos—when we hear something unkind, we can choose to stop the chain by refusing to pass it along. The same principle applies online, where digital interactions can amplify bullying and exclusion. Teaching kids to choose integrity, even when no one is watching, helps foster a culture of respect.

Conflict is a natural part of friendships, and learning to navigate disagreements in a healthy way is essential. Parents can help their children develop conflict-resolution skills by encouraging calm communication, active listening, and problem-solving strategies. Instead of ending friendships over misunderstandings, children can learn to work through differences and strengthen their relationships.

For children who struggle in social situations, structured opportunities can make a real difference. Activities like team sports, clubs, or community programs provide a shared focus and a natural way to form friendships in a low-pressure environment. These experiences help children build confidence, practice social skills, and feel a sense of belonging.

These themes are at the heart of The Friendship Guide, which I wrote to support families in navigating these challenges. Released on February 11th, the book offers practical advice for helping children develop strong, lasting friendships. Its message aligns closely with the values of Pink Shirt Day—promoting kindness, empathy, and the importance of standing up against bullying.

By reinforcing these principles at home, parents can empower their children to build friendships based on trust, respect, and understanding—skills that will serve them well throughout their lives. As Pink Shirt Day reminds us, small acts of kindness can create a profound impact, fostering a more inclusive and compassionate world for all children.

Dr. Jillian Roberts is a registered psychologist, Professor at the University of Victoria, founder of the MindKey Health Clinics and author of over a dozen best-selling children’s books including The Friendship Guide.