Thriving Over the Holidays: Tips for Supporting Neurodiverse Kids During Christmas Break

The holiday season is like a glittery tornado of concerts, family get-togethers, parties, delicious treats, and a whirlwind of gift-giving. It’s a time for families to jump into the festive spirit! But while everyone’s jingle-jangling, for families with neurodiverse children, it can feel like navigating a snow globe that’s been shaken up. The sensory overload, unpredictable social interactions, and high expectations can lead to overstimulation and dysregulation.

It’s time to take a breather and whip up some strategies to make sure the holidays are a merry ride for the whole family. With a little preparation, thoughtful planning, and communication, you can create a wonderful holiday experience. Let’s explore some practical strategies to manage emotional regulation, ease social interactions, and tackle gift exchanges like a pro, ensuring that your holidays are as joyful and stress-free as possible.

Emotional Regulation for Neurodiverse Kids During an Exciting Time

Amidst the excitement that holidays create, it’s common for neurodiverse children to feel overwhelmed. By carefully considering and implementing the following strategies, you can help them stay regulated:

1. Anticipate Overwhelm

The lights, sounds, crowds, and smells of the season can be sensory overload for many neurodiverse kids. Whether it’s bustling malls, loud family gatherings, new “Christmas Clothes”, or unfamiliar homes, these environments can lead to meltdowns. Anticipate that going into these environments could be a lot for your child. Keep an eye on them for signs that it’s time for a break.

Tip: Create a quiet retreat space at home or at events where your child can decompress. If you’re out, identify a calm spot ahead of time, like a quiet corner or your car, where they can reset. 

2. Use Visual Schedules

Predictability helps reduce anxiety, especially during the holiday chaos. A visual schedule can outline events and provide a sense of control.

Tip: Include downtime in the schedule to allow for breaks and relaxation. Involve the whole family in creating a “holiday wish list” of activities, and let your neurodiverse child provide input to ensure the plan feels manageable for them.

3. Incorporate Calming Tools

Calming tools are invaluable for helping neurodiverse children manage heightened emotions during the holidays. These tools can include physical items, sensory strategies, or mindfulness practices. Equip your child with items like noise-cancelling headphones to block out overwhelming sounds, fidget tools to provide tactile stimulation, or a weighted blanket to create a sense of security. These tools can be carried to events or used at home to provide immediate comfort.

Introduce mindfulness exercises, like deep breathing or visualization, that your child can practice when they feel anxious. For example, you can teach them to close their eyes and imagine their favorite calm place while taking slow, deep breaths.

Tip: Familiarize your child with these tools before the holidays. Role-play scenarios where they might need to use them, ensuring they feel confident turning to these strategies when the moment arises.

4. It’ Okay to Say No:

The holiday season often brings a packed calendar of activities, but it’s important to recognize when to say no. Attending every event can exhaust both your child and your family. Consider the sensory and social demands of each event, and weigh these against the potential benefits. For example, an intimate gathering with a few trusted relatives may be more enjoyable than a large party with loud music and unfamiliar faces.

Celebrate the Small Wins – Instead of focusing on the events you skip, celebrate the moments that bring joy to your child. Baking cookies together at home or watching a holiday movie can create cherished memories with fewer stressors.

Tip: Communicate openly with family and friends about your decisions. You might say, “We’d love to attend, but it’s a bit too much for us this year. Let’s plan a smaller get-together soon.” This approach fosters understanding and prevents hurt feelings.

Navigating Social Interactions at Gatherings for Neurodiverse Kids

Social gatherings can be wonderful opportunities for connection, but for neurodiverse children, they can also feel intimidating. When you factor in excitement, noise, and heightened stimulation, it can lead to overwhelming situations unless proactive strategies are thoughtfully planned and implemented beforehand.  Preparing in advance and setting realistic expectations can help make these interactions more manageable.

Here are some helpful ideas to support navigating social interactions at upcoming events:

1. Prepare for New Faces and Situations

Unfamiliar people and environments can be overwhelming, so proactive preparation is key. Before attending a gathering, create a “social story” that introduces the event and the people they’ll meet. For example, use photos and simple language to describe who will be there, what the environment will look like, and what activities to expect.

Tip: Discuss physical-touch considerations in advance. Let your child know they don’t have to give hugs if it makes them uncomfortable, and provide alternatives like high-fives, waves, or verbal greetings.

2. Establish Social Scripts

Role-playing can build confidence and reduce anxiety about social interactions. Practice simple responses to common questions like, “What’s your favourite holiday tradition?” or “What did you ask for this year?” Keep scripts tailored to your child’s comfort level and ability.

Tip: Use visual aids like cure cards, videos, or picture books as tools for demonstrating good social interactions. Turning these practice sessions into more of a game or fun activity will make this more enjoyable for your child. 

3. Provide Structured Breaks

Social fatigue can set in quickly, so it’s essential to incorporate breaks during gatherings. Work with your child to establish a subtle signal they can use to indicate they need a break, such as tugging on their earlobe or tapping your hand. Keep track of your child’s experience in these settings to get a sense of how much time works for them so you can plan for this for future events.

If your child becomes overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to leave the gathering early. Let them know this is always an option so they feel secure in social settings.

Tip: Use timers or visual cues to help your child know when their break is over and it’s time to rejoin the group. These tools are also helpful for children that have a hard time leaving an event when they’re enjoying themselves. This can make transitions smoother and reduce resistance.

Handling Gift Exchanges

Gift-giving has always been an integral aspect of the holiday season. It can be a source of joy but also a potential stressor, especially if expectations don’t align with reality and children are disappointed. To navigate the gift-giving process more effectively, consider the following strategies:

1. Set Realistic Expectations

For neurodiverse children, surprises or unmet expectations can lead to frustration or disappointment. Have an honest conversation about gift-giving beforehand. Let your child know that they may not like every gift and that’s okay. Frame the experience as being about kindness and thoughtfulness rather than the item itself.

Tip: If surprises are particularly difficult for your child, consider letting them open one or two gifts early to preview the experience and reduce anxiety.

2. Practice Gratitude Responses

Teaching your child how to respond to gifts graciously can ease potential awkwardness during exchanges. If verbal responses are challenging, encourage nonverbal gestures like a smile or thumbs-up to express gratitude.

Tip: Role-play scenarios where your child opens a gift and practices saying something positive, even if the gift isn’t what they hoped for. For example, they might say, “Thank you for thinking of me,” or “I really appreciate this gift.”

3. Offer Alternative Gift Experiences

Traditional gift exchanges can be overwhelming, especially when they involve large groups or high expectations. Create a quiet, cozy environment for gift exchanges to make the experience more enjoyable. Dim the lights, play soft holiday music, and keep the group small to reduce sensory input.

Tip: Spread out gift openings over several days to prevent overstimulation. For example, your child could open one gift each evening leading up to Christmas.

With thoughtful preparation, the holiday season can be a time of connection, joy, and growth for families. While these tips are designed to support neurodiverse children, many children experience social-emotional challenges during this time of year. By anticipating potential stressors and implementing practical strategies, you can help your child navigate the holidays with greater ease and confidence.

Remember to stay flexible, celebrate the small successes, and trust your instincts – you know your child best! With your support, the holidays can become a cherished time for your entire family.

Kristi Rigg is the Founder and CEO of West Coast Centre for Learning. She and her team have been assisting neurodiverse children in managing and regulating their emotions through their award-winning, evidence-based programs since 2014. When your child engages in a small group setting with peers who share similar needs, this experience can significantly contribute to building social confidence. For additional details, please visit www.wccl.ca or reach out to us at info@wccl.ca or 778-839-5515.