Beat the Holiday Blues: Single Parent Edition By Sarah Jones

Do you remember how delightful Christmas was when you were little? If the countdown to Christmas is stressing you out, it just means you’ve grown up! Read these tips to reclaim the magic of the holiday season.

Holiday Planning Like a Pro

There’s a plethora of preparation involved for Christmas when you’re the only one in the household to do it. From buying gifts, to making plans with different groups, creating menus, buying food and putting up decor. Are you feeling anxious yet? Not to worry, this will get you organized:

1. Create a list, ideally in a spreadsheet, of all your tasks, with four columns. The headings of the columns are: Due Date; Task; Who; and Notes. The Task column is where you put the name or brief description of the task. ‘Who’ is whomever is responsible for getting the task done. In some cases, there may be more than one person involved. ‘Notes’ are where you can add reminders or obstacles (more in step 3). 
2. Think about whether you have missed anything. Are there any big tasks that can be broken into smaller steps with their own due dates?
3. After you have set a due date for every task, put them in order starting with the closest deadline.
4. Brainstorm obstacles that may come your way related to any of the tasks and add under ‘Notes’. These are the things that could throw a wrench in your plan, or items you need help with. Be honest and think about the worst-case scenario to be prepared for anything.
5. Put the list somewhere you’ll see it every day. Cross off tasks as they are completed. This step is very satisfying! 

Mental Prep

Even for people who love the holidays, the hustle and bustle can be overwhelming. It can also be a very lonely time for single parents. Thoughts often end up becoming reality so it is crucial to stay positive and catch yourself before you spiral. Start each day on the right foot by practising gratitude. It is impossible to be in a bad mood when you are thinking of all the things you are fortunate to have (i.e. your children; a roof over your head).

Make a list of what you want to accomplish that day but recognize that it is not meant to be in stone. Prioritize the critical tasks and don’t get sidetracked from doing them. If less important things don’t get done, remind yourself that it is okay. Be gentle on yourself and know that you are doing your best.

Budgeting

Life is expensive and being a single income household is challenging. It’s too easy to overspend during the holidays on presents and activities (see Quality Time Over Quantity below). Having a budget and sticking to it will ensure your credit card isn’t overused. Be sure to shop around and look for deals and check apps such as Groupon. 

Sometimes our children only want expensive brand name items. This is an opportunity to teach them about spending money wisely by choosing less expensive alternatives.  

Quality Time Over Quantity

If you co-parent, the time spent with your children becomes even more valuable. Fortunately, time together well-spent will always beat an abundance of gifts or two weeks straight of ‘just another day’. To nurture the relationship, find out what your child wants to do and work their ideas into the schedule. 

One of the best things about this time of year is all the free activities. For example: check out a ‘festival of trees’; go sledding/tubing; or make hot chocolate ‘to go’ and wander down the most festive street in your town. If the weather is frightful, make a playlist with your child’s favorite festive songs and play them while you bake and decorate together. Find a holiday-themed board game, Lego set or puzzle to work on together. Watch Christmas movies. Make paper snowflakes and hang them from the ceiling.

Make Plans With Loved Ones

If you won’t be seeing your children over the holidays, don’t let it snowball into loneliness. Make plans with relatives and friends to keep your spirits bright. Yes, people are usually busier this time of year but most people can find an hour to get together. Another idea is joining an organized ‘meet up’ for singles in your area. You would be surprised how many people are looking for company.

Co-Parenting Tips

If there’s one time of year you really need to set aside differences with your ex, it’s during the holidays. Your child might want you to buy a gift, card or stocking stuffers for their other parent. This is a wonderful way to make your child happy, and it’s a step in the right direction to mend a relationship. 

One of the hardest things about the holidays is being away from your child on Christmas Day. Here’s a schedule that is a win-win for parents who live close to each other: One parent has the child on Christmas Eve day with a 12pm transition on Christmas Day. This allows both parents to spend time with their child on Christmas. Rotate this schedule every other year. 

Gift Yourself

If ‘Receiving Gifts’ is one of your ‘Love Languages’, you’ll like this advice. Buy yourself a few gifts to open on Christmas morning, especially if you don’t typically receive presents. There’s nothing wrong with rewarding yourself for all that you do as a single parent. Let it be a reminder of your resilience and personal growth during 2024. Who says kids are the only ones who can have fun opening gifts? Getting in touch with your inner child is a good thing, even more so during the holidays. 

Hopefully these tips bring back some delight to your holidays!  

Sarah Jones is a coach and workshop facilitator who guides people towards personal growth and fulfillment. She founded Indiana Ripley Single Parent Resources to help people find their tribe and break stigmas… because life doesn’t end after divorce or separation! www.indianaripley.com