The Unstoppable “Reset” Mindset
Reset is for anyone who knows the strain of balancing life on the tightrope of being everything to everyone.

If you close your eyes and picture someone struggling to get and stay pregnant, most people imagine a childfree couple. They might then have an impulse to think that they need to “just relax” or “wait and it will happen”. This is when I would push the Taboo™ boardgame button.
People who don’t have any living children experience can experience fertility struggles, but many families in BC struggle on their sibling journey. None of them need to hear advice, even if it’s well intentioned. Many families get and stay pregnant easily or somewhat easily for their first baby but struggle for their next, and other times it’s a struggle to bring home all their babies. It’s not their fault and treatment is part of their journey. I wish just relaxing helped. Trust me.
Of these people experiencing fertility struggles, a small portion will face invitro-fertilization (IVF).
When it comes to IVF I hold a thought in each hand. One, it’s hard to face IVF because of the challenges and how devastating it is to not get a “free baby” or a baby through less intrusive means like intrauterine insemination (IUI), yet on the other hand I’m grateful that it’s available to so many British Columbians because of how life changing it can be.
Thanks to IVF I have my son, Ethan. My husband and I have male factor infertility and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I became a fertility coach when I was facing my IVF journey.

There are many reasons IVF is the next or only option for people to grow their families.
Nobody is to blame.
Whether you go through IVF for your first baby or not, it’s a lot to process. It’s that old friend grief that takes the wheel.
If you open #IVF on Tik Tok or Instagram, the reels of IVF can hold your attention for hours on end because the challenges are plentiful and if it pays off, the rewards are peak bliss.
As for the challenges, one of the biggest is that it’s not a guarantee. Families can go through a cycle without the certainty that they’ll come out the other side with a little one who they’ll eventually drive to graduation one day.
It’s untrue that IVF = a live birth.
Another challenge is scheduling IVF into your already busy life of parenting and maybe working out of the home, too, not to mention the physical toll while keeping up with these added demands. With extra appointments and hormones raging, relationships can be strained. Having a little one to parent and stop from body slamming onto your tender tummy (maybe that’s just my son) while you go through the injections, can be another level of adulting unlocked.

Plus, this can mean long trips because there are only 3 cities where you can do an egg retrieval in BC: Vancouver, Burnaby and Victoria.
Adding to the uncertainty, it can take more than one cycle or multiple to have success and often that’s a surprise for your heart and your wallet. It’s an expensive plot twist.
Yes, it’s expensive. There’s no way to sugarcoat it. If you don’t have $20,000 stuffed under your mattress or a generous, long-lost relative, you might be out of luck or need years to save up. Too few companies provide insurance coverage for IVF, or very little, which leaves many families footing the bill or else another baby just isn’t in the cards. The guilt of not being able to afford a baby can be the biggest pill to swallow, along with your giant prenatal that you continue to take in hopes that you ends up getting and staying pregnant while waiting for IVF coverage.
There is good news. Some IVF coverage is coming to our province. In March 2024 the provincial government formally announced that one round of IVF will be funded, with 68 million dollars earmarked for an IVF program. I was there as a guest speaker when the government made the press release and was able to thank premier David Eby.
I was and am grateful for all the future families who will receive this needed treatment.
The bad news is that here has been such a lag between the announcement and the rollout, and it’s looking like the roll out will be delayed from April to July 2025. [This is based on when the article was written in February 2025].
There’s a lot we don’t know, including the inclusion criteria. There is talk that it will be income-based but like so much of the fertility journey, we must wait to see. When the program launches I will rejoice for those who benefit. For now, I have a lot of compassion for the families waiting for this life changing opportunity.

Infertility affects about 1 in 6 people worldwide and 1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss. There are 20,000 IVF cycles in Canada a year. If you know that someone in your life is facing IVF, here are some considerations.
I’m Laura Spencer, a Vancouver-based fertility coach, IVF warrior and mom. You can find resources on my website at yourfertilitycoach.ca, follow me on Instagram at @Laura_YourFertilityCoach or book a free session to discuss your own fertility.
Reset is for anyone who knows the strain of balancing life on the tightrope of being everything to everyone.

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