Dealing With IEPs: How To Fight For Your Child During An IEP Meeting, From Someone Who’s Lived It

In 7th grade, I was doing extremely well academically in my classes, having made the honor roll five consecutive times. The school I went to at the time saw this academic progress and completely cut my Individualized Education Plan, or IEP, without my parents’ consent. When my parents found out about this, naturally, they asked the principal of the school why they did this.

The principal responded that I was doing well academically and that the only way that they could help me get what I needed was for me to be “put in a robotics camp”. My parents weren’t going to accept that as an answer, so they contacted several autism organizations within the area and a state senator to help me get my IEP back. The IEP was implemented again in high school and, as the saying goes, the rest is history.

I later learned that cutting a student’s IEP without the parents knowing is illegal in this country, yet schools find loopholes all the time to try to find their way around that law, such as what I went through. This stunt is shameful at best and downright abusive at worst. Schools have one job at hand when dealing with students: to ensure that all students have a fair and equal chance at success in their studies so they can have a fulfilling life.

By cutting a child’s IEP and finding loopholes around the laws that were put in place, schools are failing at that job right now. So it’s now up to the parents to make sure that their child gets the support that they need to guarantee their success. Here are three tips on what to do during an IEP meeting to ensure your child receives the support they deserve.

Don’t Take No For An Answer:

Teachers and school officials think they can walk all over parents, just because they are providing the child with an education. During IEP meetings, they’ll most likely try to tell you they know what’s best for your child when you are the parent. One of the most common concerns of parents when having to attend IEP meetings is the struggle to express their concerns without the teachers treating the situation unfairly. During a lot of IEP meetings my parents had with my schools, this was particularly prevalent, especially with the principals and higher-ups at the school who didn’t think my parents knew anything about autism. So what’s the solution?

The answer is simple: Don’t take no for an answer. If the school tries to make you feel like an idiot, put your foot down and tell them to let you finish your idea and tell them to respect you as a parent. You are the parent here, not the teachers, not the principal, not the superintendent. Therefore, you know what’s best for your child. If the school can’t see that, then most likely, they aren’t worth your time.

If The School Takes Away An IEP, Do What You Have To Do To Get It Back:

There are a lot of reasons why schools may feel the need to take away a child’s IEP without your knowledge or consent. Maybe the child is doing well academically and the school thinks that means they don’t need the IEP anymore. Maybe the school misunderstands how autism works and thinks the child doesn’t need as much help as other people with IEPs.

Whatever the reason, some schools may need a little patience and help understanding autism if they unknowingly cut an IEP or refuse to give a child one. But some schools might genuinely believe that your child doesn’t need an IEP, with or without autism, and cut it all together without you knowing. That type of behavior is unethical at best and illegal at worst.

If the school your child attends does end up cutting their IEP and you end up finding out about it, the first step should be to go to the school and explain why your child needs that IEP. If the school still refuses to give the IEP back or yells at you for trying to get it back, then the next step is to get as much help as possible from various autism organizations within your area.

This can be from the Autism Society Of America or even a local advocate in your area who knows how much of a difference an IEP can make in your child’s success. If all other options fail, the last step, and the most drastic, would be to go to court and sue, as schools taking away an IEP violates the rights of your child. Do whatever you have to do to make sure that IEP is properly implemented and not taken away in any form.

Help The School Understand Autism:

One of the biggest reasons why the process of having IEP meetings is complicated is because there is a lack of understanding about autism on the school’s side. A lot of people don’t understand autism enough to be able to help an individual who’s on the spectrum. Although there is an abundance of research out there in regards to the topic, unfortunately there are still a lot of misunderstandings. This in turn results in more misunderstandings about what the child needs. So what should be the proper way to handle this?

The answer is to help the school learn about autism through the perspectives of not only the autistic individual, but also the parent. One may argue that it’s the school’s responsibility to learn about autism and any other disability for that matter, but the problem is that the “experts” with degrees most likely haven’t properly lived the experience.

So the best way to help the school learn about autism is by inviting people who lived through it to the IEP meetings. Let their stories help the school properly understand the work that goes into making an autistic individual the person they are today. That should be the main mission at the end of the day.

To conclude, IEP meetings can be tough. There can be some minor disagreements and there could be some major escalations if the school tries to sabotage your child’s success. But at the end of the day, the number one priority is your child. No one can take your child’s success away, no matter what they go through. All everyone has to do is be willing to help every step of the way.

Kadin McElwain is autistic college student, writer, and activist on a mission to raise as much awareness about his cause as possible. Although his experience is from the American school system, similar issues may happen here in Canada too.