Advocating for your Neurodivergent Child At School 2025

Although the education system has come a long way in regards to better supporting neurodivergent students, sending a neurodivergent child to school can still cause a lot of unease and stress. As parents, our biggest hope is that teachers and support staff both recognize and build upon our child’s strengths, while also recognizing and planning to meet their unique needs. 

What an IEP Is (and Isn’t)

It is so important that we, as parents, have both the knowledge and tools to advocate for our neurodivergent children’s needs within the school setting. In order to better support students, the British Columbia school system has created Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) for students with additional support needs. However, a diagnosis of ADHD alone does not automatically grant your child an IEP. Conversely, an autism diagnosis does. Some IEPs provide the school district with additional funding, and some do not, but this funding is not student-specific. Meaning, this additional funding does not necessarily go towards the direct support of your child, nor does it necessarily go to your child’s school! To learn more about how this works, click here. 

It is possible to receive an IEP if your child has a comorbid mental health diagnosis with ADHD that severely affects their ability to learn at school, such as extreme cases of anxiety or depression. However, this is not always the case for some of our kiddos who clearly need additional supports like an Educational Assistant (EA), and adaptations. Adaptations mean that teachers can adapt what is required of a student in order to increase student engagement and remove barriers to learning and success.

Adaptations You Can Request

Some examples of adaptations for a student with ADHD or neurodivergent are:

• Allowing movement breaks throughout the day and as needed (limiting the time of each break so as not to interfere with their learning)
• Allowing alternative seating such as a yoga ball, wiggly chair, or standing desk
• Not removing marks for assignments that have been handed in late (and allowing an additional day or two for students to hand in assignments)
• Providing hard and soft deadlines for assignments 
• Allowing the student to eat food during teaching/work time
• Allowing the use of fidgets which support focus
• Allowing students to complete less questions on assignments which they have been able demonstrated an understanding of (Example every second question in a math textbook)

There are lots of fantastic resources online where you can find different adaptations you can request for your neurodivergent student, despite not having an IEP, but don’t assume your child will be provided with any of these without a conversation with the teacher.

Starting Conversations with Teachers 

One of the best things you can do in order to advocate for your child is to collaborate with their teacher(s) starting from the first day of school. One way to do this for elementary/middle school aged children is to send the teacher an “Introductory to (Insert Child’s Name)” document where you can outline helpful information about your child for the teacher such as their strengths, their struggles, and strategies that your child finds works best for them. To download an outline click here. 

When submitting this letter you can request a meeting with the teacher via phone or in-person to review what is outlined in the document, provide additional information or answer any questions they might have in order to best support your child. This could be the start of a beautiful working relationship!

Helping Teens Learn Self-Advocacy

For high-school aged children, you will want to work with your child (not for them) and teach them how to advocate for their needs. Learning to advocate for themselves is an imperative skill they will need to learn in order to be successful later in life. Therefore, work with your teen to collaborate on how to best connect with their teachers at the start of each semester. Would the student like to send the “introduction” email themselves or would they like to be CCd in an email you’ve sent? Would the student like to set up a meeting with the teacher themselves to share about their struggles and strengths? Or would they like to be a part of a conversation where you as the parent take the lead or perhaps their school counsellor? Although teachers offer “meet the teacher nights” these nights often only allow for about 15 minutes of time, and speaking from the teacher’s perspective, many teachers would welcome a more private 1:Family conversation about your child if it would foster a successful learning relationship.

Additionally, help your neurodivergent child identify supportive people at school. Is there an EA they feel connected to? A school counsellor? Coach? Or teacher? Encourage your child to connect with these support people when they are struggling. 

Meeting with the Teacher

When meeting with the teacher, here are some ideas on what types of questions you can ask:

• Is there an EA available?
• Are there any homework clubs or study times available? 
• Is there a space your child can work in that is quieter and has less distractions? 
• How can your child access such a place?
• Is there a Learning Support teacher & room they can be connected to?

If you’ve set things into place and your child is still struggling you can request that the teacher connect with their School Based Team to help them collaborate with their coworkers to identify additional supports. You can even request to attend to advocate for your child’s needs. The School based team is usually made up of the school counsellor(s), Inclusive Support Teacher(s) and Administration.

Create a Follow up Plan

Once supports have been selected it’s important to identify whose job it is to follow up about how things are going. 

• Are you going to reach out to the teacher to request an update? 
• Will the teacher be reaching out to you? 
• When will they check in? 
• Or will you be connecting with the school counsellor moving forward? 

It’s always important to document the final plan and to include whose job it is to follow up and how often follow ups may be. It can also be helpful to identify how follow ups will happen. Will it be via Email, phone or a pre-scheduled meeting? 

Advocating for your neurodivergent child at school can feel overwhelming at times, but remember that you are your child’s greatest ally. By starting conversations early, building collaborative relationships with teachers, and clearly outlining your child’s strengths and needs, you set the stage for a more positive and supportive learning environment. Whether it’s through adaptations, ongoing communication, or encouraging your child to take an active role in self-advocacy, every step you take helps to create a stronger foundation for your child’s success. The education system may still have progress to make, but your persistence and partnership with educators can make a powerful difference. Together, we can help ensure that neurodivergent students are not only accommodated, but truly seen, understood, and celebrated for who they are.

Mary Klovance, BEd, MA, RCC, award-winning counsellor, author, teacher, and proud neurodivergent parent. She is the founder of The Neurodiversity Family Centre and a public speaker on neurodiversity-affirming care. Mary supports families in understanding and celebrating the unique strengths of their children through neuro-affirming, strengths-based practices. Find her on Instagram here.