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How Our Children Grow us Up
Page 3
Mom and daughter in leaves with tea grow up

How Our Children Grow us Up

Reading Time: 5 minutes

If we are willing, it’s not hard to locate the places where this younger part resides. Pause for one moment and bring to mind a difficult parenting moment where you felt a strong emotional reaction to a situation with your child. Notice that the thought of this incident may bring changes in your emotions and your body. Great News! You have just discovered one place where your child is helping to shine a light on your own younger part.

For example, imagine that when your child “talks back” you become frustrated, even angry with them. “Rightly so” you may say at that moment. On the other hand, consider that this frustration is not entirely related to the situation at hand, and is in fact rooted in your younger part. “But what about addressing our child’s behaviour?” is a question I
am often asked as a therapist. Certainly, a child’s behaviour, and in particular the roots of that behaviour, may need to be met with thoughtful and developmentally appropriate approaches. However, this does not negate the importance of us
growing up ourselves, and through our own maturation, we naturally gain greater clarity about how to work skillfully with our children’s behaviour.

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