Number one. Begin the talk early. At 10 years of age, I’ve even had young clients who were 11 and 12 years of age, that have already been sexually active from many months in a row.
So while many parents wait until a child is 13, 16 or unfortunately even 18 to start talking about appropriate sexual behavior, sexuality and more… We’ve got to bring it down to the younger age groups, and in my practice, we start as young as 10.
Number two. In my opinion, we cannot use threats, shame, and guilt when we talk about dating, sexuality and sexual relationships. Whatever we threaten teenagers with or pre-teens with, they’re probably going to have an even increased in interest in whatever we’re telling them not to do.
If you smoke, and you tell your pre-teens or teenagers not to smoke… What’s the usual end result of that? They want to experiment.
If you tell them sex is bad, kissing is bad, touching is bad… And there are ways to do that without saying that the activity is “bad“, you just may be increasing their interest, And out of a natural curiosity as I mentioned above, combined with raging hormones, you might be pushing them over the edge to experiment with something they’re not prepared to.